Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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