Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize