Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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