That's when you crack a 10am beer
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the day after is always just damage control
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
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I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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