dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
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Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize