I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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