It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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