im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize