Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Drunk is a universal language darling
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