WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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