who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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