I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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