So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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