i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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