just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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