I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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