I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize