he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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