If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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