Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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