I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize