Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize