I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
a search helicopter?!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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