My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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