This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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