How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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