glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
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And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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