dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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