Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize