Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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