I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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