so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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