we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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