you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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