just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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