so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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