there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
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He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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