TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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