youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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