People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
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I just found a bag of teeth...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
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Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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