i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize