I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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