that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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