it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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