a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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