I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
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He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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