You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize