You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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