Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
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Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
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Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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