So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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